It’s been a few months since I’ve posted.  I’ve been tweaking the website, trying to figure out social media and working non-stop on building the Kickstarter platform – only the video remains to be done.  It really is getting close to the launch.  As it does, more and more, I get those feelings of anxiety that I am in over my head.  This past week has been great.  At a training session for a ministry I volunteer in at church, called HOPE, I was encouraged.  Then today, again, during my morning time with God I’m given a big dose of encouragement.  Daily I read Jesus Calling and God spoke to me in a big way.  I love how He finds a way to move me forward when I begin to doubt myself.   The closer the launch appears the more doubts I have, “can I really do this?”  Today I was reminded that on my own I will likely lose everything that counts, but in union with Him, I am complete and am transformed to be more like who He wants me to be.  In a nutshell, what I felt Him saying to me is, “Susan, I am God, you are not alone in this.  Together we can do this.  Press on.  I love you!”…  Tears are in my eyes.  I am humbled!  I love you too Lord!

 

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Oh my gosh!  I’ve been praying for a while for God to show me the next step, knowing that the means to bringing these books to market was likely it.  So anyway, backing up a bit, a long while ago (months actually) my oldest son told me about kickstarter.com.  It’s an online funding platform for people like me, who have creative ideas, but no means to fund them.  I looked at it when he first told me about it but the timing was off and I set it aside. Well today I found myself back on kickstarter.com and this time I got a whole different vibe.  I went directly to most funded published books and to my uneasiness I discovered the 2nd most funded book was a book on atheism.  I felt many emotions from sickness to anger to mostly saddness.  I knew it was no coincidence I was back on kickstarter.  Without saying, God needed to be placed above that book but it raised $103,538.  Can Ishnabobber do it?  Absolutely not, but God can!  Needless to say I now know what my next step is.  There’s no risk and everything to gain.  I’m reminded that I can do what I can do and God will do the rest.  I know exactly what truths I’m going to be leaning on:

I can do all things through him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:14

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.  Proverbs 16:3

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God reminds me over and over gain “Do not be anxious about anything,” Philippians 4:6.  This is not easy for me.  I’m a “get it done” kind of person yet God has me on this path that I know nothing about.  I am forced to wait and see what the next step is.  I’m learning the value of having to rely on him.  He’s got me in a place of peace and calmness in being content to listen and wait.  It’s absolutely amazing!  So completely not me but so completely Him.  Easter has come and gone and still no launch in sight but it’s okay because I know without a doubt God is in control and if He wants to move this project forward he will.  I’m doing all I can and He will do the rest.  Illustrations are progressing forward, the website is complete, social media sites are built.  The next step is funding.  Let’s see how God helps me with that one.  I chuckle because I am in no position to solve this one on my own.  This whole project is so much more than I ever imagined it would be.  I’m reminded of Ephesians 3:30, Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work with us,”   This is for sure me, I have done more than I could have ever imagined and I know that it is because of what He has done through me. I love being His vessel.  It is well worth the wait.  Today I am thinking this is exactly where God wants me to be.  I am on target!

To back up a bit… my biggest obstacle at present is funding this project.  Several months ago my oldest son told me about Kickstarter and I checked it out but didn’t really feel a pull to it.  It was interesting but didn’t feel it was right for some reason.  Well, today, I got the pull and a whole different vibe.  I logged on to kickstarter.com, went straight to most funded projects in publishing and was horrified to discover that the 2nd most funded project was that of a book being written by an atheist.  The energy level in me swelled up as the hair rose on my arms and in that moment I knew God brought me to this site on this day for a reason.  Game on, God is way bigger than anything and He gave me the nerve to put it to the test. 

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I’ve spent a wonderful couple of days in the Word this weekend as I faithfully press on to prepare for where God is leading me.  Every lent I read the Gospel as is my tradition. I’m in the Book of John which I have read many times but this time something I’ve not really paid attention to jumped out.  “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work.”  John 4:34 and Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life…” John 6:27  Working fulltime has been a challenge for me.  I pray some day I am able to dedicate myself fully to this project.  In the meantime, God continues to encourage me forward with the limited time I have.  I’m coming to realize he has me right where He wants me.  In my weakness, I pray daily for encouragment and strength to press forward. Today He spoke to me in thought during our quiet time. This doesn’t happen often but I so love it when it does.  Today I heard, “Susan, let’s keep on keeping on!  My work on this earth is not yet done and I am choosing you as my vessel to further it. You know this!”  Once again, Lord Jesus, the Christ, thank you for growing my faith, for patience with me, for Grace and for most of all showing me the way you want me to go!  It doesn’t look like Easter 2012 is going to be launch time.  Not sure why but I feel the timing is not right.  I keep plotting forward realizing my plans don’t really mean a thing.  God is 100% in control of this project.

 

 

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